Letter # 380 May 29, 1944

[in Mother's hand in pencil:
Mon May 29]
My darling Wife;
I love you, you sweet, beautiful old thing.  Best wife a man ever had.  Only one I ever want too, but damn it all, honey, I wish you were with me.  I miss you like hell and I don't mean maybe. 
I got a very splendid 6 page letter from you today.  Came in very handy too, to finish curing a slight attack of seasickness.  Gosh sweetheart, I appreciate those letters of yours.  Make me feel like I'm on top of the world again, no matter how low I was before.  I love you darling. 
I don't know when this will get mailed.  I'll write piece-meal at it as I think of anything to say.  I expect that I will use mostly V-mail from now on.  Anyhow I bought a whole box of it, so I'll have to use it up.  You might tell me how you like them and etc.  If I can't say enough on one sheet I can always write more than one. 
I haven't heard the censorship regulations yet, so I'll answer your sweet letter.  It is your Mon - 22nd.
I guess you really got letters when they started to come, finally.  There is still one missing or else you forgot it.  I didn't skip on the 15th.  I wrote every day, 12 - 26 with the exception of the 22nd when I went to see Steve. 
I gather the impression from your letter that you were tickled pink to get them.  I would think you would be
after that long.  They aren't at all satisfactory means of communication but they sure help a hell of a lot. 
I'm tickled to hear that the birds are at last using the feeder.  Even if it's only one, more bold than the rest, it's something .  I still like the idea.  If they are using it there is a paper sack of the feed under the workbench in the basement - I think.  I'm not going to be so positive this time so you can laugh at me if it doesn't happen to be there. 
My. my, honey, you should be more careful of what you say.  " I imagine Steve can give me a little that you can't."  Now isn't that a rather uncertain sentence?  Especially since you always dreamed of Steve instead of me.  Good thing he's going to be a married man before you see him.  Gosh that reminds me, today is the big day for him.  I hope he has as good luck as I did.  Gosh I'm glad I gotcha, sweetheart.  You're the best little wife ever.  I love you so much. 
You asked about Brownie.  He is still with us.  Everyone is.  Funny, but true.
I'm so glad to hear you are taking things in your stride and keeping the old good spirits.  I thought you would. but I'm glad to hear you confirm it.  You're a damn good soldier honey. 
You don't need to worry or wonder about me either.  I'm in perfect spirits, or rather, in as good spirits as I'll ever be as long as you aren't with me. 
It wasn't at all hard to walk on the boat.  In fact it was rather exciting and I was even a bit relieved.  As long as we can't be together, I'd as soon be a hell of a way as not.  The hardest job I've ever had to do, were the times I had to kiss you goodbye and turn my back and walk off.  Damn, honey, it felt like part of me was being torn out.  You'll never know how near I came to running back, if only for one more kiss.  There, I guess that talks for itself.  I love you.  Really sweetheart, this was no different than getting on a train.  I hate to think about it if you had been here.  You're my weak spot and no kidding there.  You're my sweetheart wife. 
You are also a tease.  Like always.  Imagine asking me if I would like a look at you as you write this letter.  I want a lot more than a look and you know it.  You never would lounge around in that state of undress when I was around 'cause you knew I couldn't leave you alone.  I haven't changed a damn bit either, unless it would be for the worse -  or better - which? 
I did answer you about sending me things.  Don't until I ask for something.  I suppose it was in the letter you didn't get.  I'll be perfectly satisfied with only love for my birthday present, this year.  There is another coming, though, when I won't, so just you wait until then.  Thank you, you're sweet.
I hope you do like your library job, but don't fret if you don't.  You can always do something else or nothing.  Most people are only good at one job.  You are such a perfect wife you don't need to be anything else.  You know you have that wife job with me forever. 
I know how you feel about the home.  I do too, but I want you to feel free to do anything you think best.  You're our business manager until I come home and even then I may let you keep the job.  You are doing a good job.  Anything, and I mean anything you decide to do has my O.K. and no questions.  You see, I love you and we're partners. 
Well honey, I guess I better send this one or it will be overweight.   Bye, sweetheart, I'm loving and missing you so much.  Also anticipating the time we'll meet again.  I love you darling. 
Your hubby.
Norman W. Effinger.